seven months old.

today, i sobbed over elliot's crib.

we were just looking into each other's eyes and i got lost in the moment.

i had momentarily forgotten that i was playing his favorite game:

throw the pacifier out of the crib and giggle like mad when mommy comes in and then do it again as soon as she shuts the door and continue to do it for 90 minutes when i should be asleep.

he reached out and grabbed my braid and examined it, flipping it back and forth with his little right hand.  he let go and reached up for my face {he likes holding my nose?} and then giggled until i gave him a million kisses all over those cheeks.

it hurts my heart that he is already seven months old.

already on the other side of his first year of life.

i've made a point to soak up every moment, but still it doesn't feel like i have done enough.

so many moments slip through the cracks, when others, like seeing him for the first time, when the stolen baby alarm went off when we tried to leave the hospital with him, our first family photo, our first night alone, the first time he peed all over ryan...all feel like yesterday.

there are memories i wish to forget, and try to...

like when i had to watch helplessly as he got a catheter and a spinal tap at the er when he was three weeks old,

all of the breast feeding problems we have had.

the times where i felt so alone in motherhood, so lonely, that most of my friends had abandoned me.

but,

man.

elliot...

he is my world.

elliot still nurses about 5 times a day and only gets up once at night - usually around the 5 am hour.

he eats three solid meals a day, and drinks water with them.

and he sometimes has a snack in between.

he is getting awfully heavy - so heavy, that he still can't sit up on his own.

he is nowhere near being able to crawl,

and hey...he still doesn't have any teeth.

he loves:

owen. 

the giraffe puppet in the baby einstein video we have - he laughs every time he sees him.

throwing his paci out of his crib.

when daddy comes home.

putting his toes in his mouth.

grabbing his peepee during bath time.

splashing every one during bath time.

helping at the store by "pushing" the cart while i hold him.

trying to steal everything i'm drinking and drink it himself.

slapping the table.

he still doesn't love:

really loud noises.

the dog puppet in the baby einstein video we have.

it's hard for me to even think about ever having another baby, i just love this one so much, but everyone says - your heart just grows to fit them both.

baby cleavage for the win.