smile.

the three of us went to a wedding last night and elliot slept through the entire thing.

which wasn't normal for him so we figured he would be up all night.

{he is still asleep right now...}

anyway, he woke up on our drive home and just talked to himself.

he got a bath and we did the normal routine...

we were all sitting in bed and i was working on the video i'm making for his two month birthday and ryan and i were laughing at how elliot was just staring at me and then elliot joined in...

he smiled any time we would start laughing after that.

it was worth every ounce of labor pain and now it's my goal to get him to smile constantly!

oh the burn.

well, we survived our first few days totally alone together while ryan traveled for work,

and it actually went really well.

i was worried because it was even difficult when my mom was here to help.

but somehow everything actually ran smoother than normal.

no drama getting in the car, everything was relaxed.

i had enough food here.

i went out and saw friends.

which was probably my saving grace because if i locked myself in the house for 3 days i would have died.

but we were able to stay on his schedule well and had no real problems.

other than dealing with thrush right now,

which is the worst thing...

i'm having extreme pain while nursing him (it progresses as the day goes on),

so i have been pumping like crazy and filling the bottles with probiotics for him and taking them myself but it doesn't seem to be changing.

his mouth is still filled with white patches and my nipples still look and feel like they are on fire.

i tried twice to get a prescription for both of us - with his doctor and with the midwives but haven't been able to...

luckily my 6 week postpartum appointment is this afternoon so i'll be able to hopefully make them give me some kind of relief so i don't completely give up nursing.

update: i got my midwife to give me some expensive remedies {eh heeem $72 worth of prescriptions} for both of us and i'm already feeling back to nursing normal.

xo

morning.

{cell phone photo from this morning}

elliot usually goes to bed for the night between 930 and 10 on his own.

he'll wake up at 130 to eat and then again around 5.

then he'll snooze until 7 or so and we all love this time.

after the 130 feeding he will end up co-sleeping with me and i'll pass him to ryan after he nurses at 5.

ryan has been late to work a couple of times because he enjoys just laying in bed with a snoozing elliot.

elliot will get up and nurse and i'll do the internet thing and drink coffee and he'll stay in a half awake zone for a while.

like this morning, he completely passed out in the middle of a feeding.

and then he'll fall asleep for his morning nap.

sometimes i just keep him in bed with me but this morning i put him in his crib so i can try to shower.

so on that note...

i love you elliot even though...

you practice back bends while nursing

you scream during the entire car ride

you try to drink the bath water

you try to smother yourself when on your tummy

you nurse your daddy's nose

you have the stinkiest most foul farts in all of america.

we sure do miss grandma...

a little note.

what a week it has been, to add to the week from hell list...

ryan tried fixing our dryer and ended up cutting his hand to the point where bone was seen and had to get stitches and a tetanus shot.

anyway,

my mom leaves tomorrow after her 12 day trip and i don't know what i'm going to do!

she was such a huge help.

seriously wishing she lived in nashville and could help me all the time.

ryan went on his first overnight trip since before the baby and it was rough, but he has another one coming up and i'll be on my own.

this morning elliot woke up happy for the first time.

maybe cause i nursed him at the first fuss?

but i woke up to see his big eyes staring at me ha.

and he just hung out while ryan got ready for work.

enjoy your sunday!

one month old.

this month has been the happiest, hardest, most challenging, love filled month of my life.

how has a whole month passed since i was screaming in pain and birthing this child??

time really does fly by once a baby steps into your life.

elliot is the sweetest, funniest and most dramatic baby.

but we love him more than anything and can't even remember life without him.

facts about elliot:

sleeps a lot

eats a lot

prefers boobs to bottles

gassy

loves when you shake his legs to try to get him to fart

loves making eye contact

loves mirrors

touches your face

has a new sound or cry every few days

makes bird noises

cutest sneezes and yawns

loves being sang to

hates being bored

paci baby

prefers to sleep with or on someone

loves coldplay, patty griffin and bruce springsteen

fascinated with mama's hair

holds his ear and the back of his head

here is a little video of elliot during this first month of life.

Untitled from Chelsey Meyer on Vimeo.

the week from hell has given us...

{elliot at the ER on wednesday night}

- baby fever

- lethargic, distant stares, jolting movements, hysterical

- first ER visit to Vanderbilt's Children's Hospital

- elliot screaming in pain from a catheter

- unsuccessful blood draw

- spinal tap

- pumped full of saline

- pumped full of 3 antibiotics for 48 hours

- rectal temperatures

- migraines

- milk supply drop

- stress

- no sleep

- milk supply comes back in

- clogged duct

- mastitis

le fourth.

our fourth of july consisted of:

crying baby

good friends

great food

loaded questions

me being inappropriate

wiffle ball

every family on our ghetto street setting off fireworks

lots of sitting on the porch

too many flies

baby wearing

watching a dog chase a car

owen stealing the wiffle ball

family nap

baby blues.

this has been one hell of a week.

to start, we were dealing with some serious gas issues with elliot.

any time he passed gas or pooped he would scream bloody murder.

and it seriously broke my heart to hear his "pain" cries and not be able to do anything about it.

we have been giving him mylicon drops - which you can find on everything.

the little pink stains are driving me insane...

it's always on his blankets, his clothes...our duvet cover. luckily it comes out in the wash but in the meantime it just looks like we let him play with a pink highlighter.

the last two days seem to have been better with the gas stuff, he hasn't been crying over it and has had some really good poops ;)

we had put into motion our new night time schedule and it seems that every other night it works perfectly.

i don't wake up when ryan gets him to feed him around 1 or 2.

elliot eats from the bottle perfectly and then goes right back to sleep until about 5 {like this morning} and i nurse him and we all sleep for a few more hours.

but those nights in between are disasters.

he cries and fusses, wakes up every hour or so,

wont go back to sleep.

i have to be leaning over his bed ready to put his pacifier back in his mouth and then the following day will be just as bad...

he wont go down for naps, he wants to eat like every 30 minutes, he cries and cries.

yesterday was the first day i had any baby blues feelings, i just didn't feel connected to him at all.

he literally cried all day no matter what i did,

and it didn't help that i hadn't slept at all the night before and had no time to really eat anything all day.

my only saving graces was the jog/walk we went on in the morning and my first vodka cranberry in 11 months.

at one point yesterday, i just swaddled him and put him in his crib in his nursery and let him cry for an hour.

i had really tried not to do that because he needs to learn that we will comfort him when he is upset but i just couldn't do it.

the funny thing is, that every time his pacifier fell out he would become hysterical but after not going in there and put it back in, he figured out he could push it back into his mouth...

ohh self soothing.

of course when i went in once he was calm again, the pacifier was like half in and pushing his lip up but he did it himself which is amazing to me.

but last night was great, this morning he is back to snoozing on the bed next to me while i drink coffee and do the internet thing - which has been out for 3 days because our neighbors backed a uhaul up and tore the cable out of the house.

today will hopefully stay this way!